“Thank you for the invite Dr._____, while I think you’re an interesting individual, I believe you’d be better off hanging out with someone more physically free.”
That was a text I’d sent just earlier today to someone who was cool but obviously looking for something different from everything that I am. His rebuttal was “Huh? Physically Free? Because I asked to hug you today?” The issue wasn’t that he asked to hug me today. He’d made it obvious from our first date and conversations following that he just wanted to flirt and get in where he could fit in. If he’d taken just a moment to ask questions or listen to me I’m sure he would have approached things a bit differently.
What Doc didn’t take into consideration is that the little information that I’d already divulged about myself, I was DAMN ABSOLUTE about. My standards are my standards. Neither he nor the other 4 doctors trying to date me at this time can change that. He and I talked about it on our 1st and only date. We even agreed that we live in a city #ATLANTA, where he can date many beautiful, educated, financially liberated, stable women, with status. When he began telling me how women outnumber men in our city, I don’t even think his arrogance allowed him to understand that his comparisons told me that HE DIDN’T CONSIDER ME UNIQUE. *AND FYI I LOVE ARROGANT MEN* but this just showed immaturity and his oblivion and desire to please the woman directly in his presence. I stared with a smirk. He thought that meant I liked him, but I was simply reading him. All of his undertones, his insecurities and even his certainties, which was mostly wrong. I read people for a living Sir. I have others to protect.
Anywho… As I took some time to ponder our conversations and make sure I wasn’t judging or being mean (I know my flaws and shortcomings), it brought me to a conclusion. No, I don’t have 19 men that I can settle for. I do have about a good 8. Not 8 I can go on a date with or have casual sex with but a GREAT 8 who took the time to get to know me and believe that I’m special enough! Yes A GREAT 8 MEN who are degreed, wealthy, caring, handsome good-spirited men who happen to care about and love me. In those cases, I AM THE LUCKY ONE. Not many women can say that there is 1 man who has spent years getting to know her, moody, mean, depressed, cocky, distant, emotional, needy, crazy ass without any sexual exchanges and stuck around to be her friend even when they wanted her as a wife. I can! WOW! I am amazed that I can! That’s not counting the men I have been physical with who would take the do-over and vow to care for me for the rest of my life. I AM THE LUCKY ONE.
I don’t care about status. For the most part, daily I encounter men with status and riches who are charming and have brilliant minds. What will be unique, and set MY MAN apart from all the rest is that HE WILL LOVE THE FUCK OUT OF ME! Women could outnumber men 500 to 1 but I will be the one he desires. Because to know ME is to LOVE ME. God made it impossible to be any other way. That doesn’t mean we won’t have issues. I’d be a liar to say “I know my man won’t cheat, won’t be broken in certain places, will never be selfish, etc.” What I do know is that there are signs at the very beginning of meeting someone that will tell you if it’s just not a match. If you act on that instinct you’ll save yourself a lot of time and clear the way for who is meant for you.
Now, the Dr. that’d I’d recently went on a date with wasn’t a bad person at all… He’s just used to receiving what he wants, whether he asks for it or not because women are desperately on the hunt for a good man. I just don’t believe that THE RIGHT MAN wants to be hunted. That’s a little too feminine in my opinion. But it’s the norm for today’s men, especially in #ATL.
People say “LOVE DOESN’T PAY THE BILLS.” My thought is that a man who truly loves his woman, his family will never allow them to go broke. I believe that a man of honor, with a caring heart and an authentic spirit, could never be a poor man. Let me say this again because my exes have been noted, known men of status. That is not my desire… I only wish to be seen and thought of with GOD’s LOVE. To the men that have shown me only goodness and kindness, even if that was your way of attempting to lock me down, as free as you know I am, IF YOU KNOW ME. Thank you for showing me that I never have to settle. I AM THE LUCKY ONE…. BECAUSE I AM BLESSED.
Dear Doc’s, cuz I know you watchin! If you’re not a gynecologist your chances of visiting my vagina are slim to none right now… To know me is to love me. If there is no emotional connection, no real care, you should move on. That’s your best bet. And it’s still ALL LOVE.